We often worry too much and create distress for ourselves. Sometimes we take the world on our shoulders, and instead of making the world a better place, all we end up doing is creating more stress for ourselves which we realize very late in life.
Here are the top 10 things we should not stress over, wasting our present moment, our present happiness.
1. Past Mistakes
Many of us spend 75% of our time beating ourselves up just for our past mistakes. These mistakes manage to remain in our conscience and keep coming up in our head every time. It’s addictive, and punishing yourself feels good. Maybe better than forgiving yourself?
We all make mistakes and mess up in life. That’s just how life goes. Don’t be hard on yourself, though. Accept that everyone gets it wrong sometimes. It’s part of the human nature. In order to let the past go, you must learn to forgive yourself more often and apply this to your life. And every time the thought comes back, simply remind yourself that you have already been forgiven, so there’s no reason to feel bad anymore.
The big “F” word that everyone fears. It’s almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some kind of failure. People who do so probably live so cautiously that they go nowhere. It doesn’t have to be a scary concept, though. Ultimately, it depends on your attitude to failure. If you see failure as not being perfect, you’re going to be permanently miserable. A more realistic idea of failure is giving up. If you haven’t given up, you haven’t failed. See failure as a learning curve, a trial and error process. See failure as your friend – it’s no big deal unless you allow it to be.
3. What others think
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody” – Bill Cosby
It’s your life, your decisions and choices. Believe it or not, we’re not that special. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is—those people are thinking the exact same thing. Or in case, if they love to judge, why should you care what they do? Only you define yourself, so let them be amused if it makes them happy. When you care too much about that others will say, you live your life for them and not yourself.
4. What you don’t have
The human nature tends to focus more on what we lack rather than abundance. We feel thoroughly deprived seeing the things we don’t have. What’s the point of that? Learn to see the positives of what you have. Why would you want to torture yourself with all the things you don’t have? That type of thinking will not serve you in any productive way at all. Make a list of all the things in your life that you appreciate. There will always be others with more and others with less. What you have is enough.
Regret is a part of life. The past cannot be undone. Regrets can become painful burdens that interfere with your present happiness, cause you grief, and restrict your future. Accept what has gone before, make allowances for human error and move on. Start thinking about “bad” decisions as learning opportunities. Did you learn something from it? If you learned never to do it again or to try a different approach, then you’ve ended up with a positive result.
Rejections are a part of everybody’s life!
Whether the rejection we experience is large or small, one thing remains constant — it always hurts, and it usually hurts more than we expect it to. Many of us are so afraid of rejection that we stay in our comfort zones and never risk true intimacy. The more you hide out of fear, the greater the fear will grow. Show yourself that you can express your feelings and live with the consequences. You will conquer fear of rejection in this way. The best way to boost feelings of self-worth after a rejection is to affirm aspects of yourself you know are valuable. Rejection is never easy but knowing how to limit the psychological damage it inflicts, and how to rebuild your self-esteem when it happens, will help you recover sooner and move on with confidence.
7. “What Ifs”
What if this doesn’t happen ? What if I fail ? What will people think ?
So much of the human nature is about wondering and worrying about the future.
Life is uncertain. No one can predict the future, and there is no point in torturing yourself worrying about what might happen in the future. This type of worry is wasted energy. If you can do something in the present moment, go for it. Stop thinking about the negative outcomes in future without giving a trial in present. And, if not, distract yourself and defer the worries.
He who says ‘he can’ and he who says ‘he cannot’ are both usually right.
8. “I’ll be happy when…” thoughts
You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when. You can only decide how you are going to live, right now. Every day is a new chance to choose. And, when we believe that we will be happy once something has happened, we effectively put our life on hold until the event happens. Our life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such. Don’t let your happiness be held hostage. It is always yours to choose, to live and experience. Be in the moment more and care less about being happy in the future. Decide to be happy now.
9. Being good enough
We want to improve and grow as a person in this competitive world. It is a healthy mind-set. But becomes unhealthy, when we seep into the negative ideas about how we aren’t good enough. Always challenge this type of thinking. What is “good enough”? Where is the universal rule book that clarifies what “good enough” is? As long as you feel happy with who you are, where you are and how far you have come, that is all that matters.
10. Society’s expectations
Be slim, become fair, be beautiful. Have a rich lifestyle, show off your status and then you’ll be adored by everyone. What nonsense! When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you. And even more importantly, you will respect yourself. Don’t buy into the constant media images of perfection. Love yourself, embrace your imperfections. When you like and accept yourself as you are, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. No one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.
Self acceptance is true freedom.
My published article : http://skithub.com/10-things-learn-late-life/